The coffee shop crisis.

I am writing this in a coffee shop in a simmering rage. I have a question for those of you who Instagram a coffee cup with a caption along the lines of “working in a coffee shop is just the best”. Is it actually?? Cos I don’t feel very zen right now. I feel mad.

I had two hours to kill today, so decided that I would do what sophisticated people seem to do these days. I’d go to a coffee shop and sit there, doing some work. I imagined the buzz of voices, the smell of fresh coffee, a hot cup on my side and thoughts pouring out from my head like bubbling milk from a jug. I tried to forget my previous experience of tepid coffee and babies screaming. But there is to be no Next Time. I’m gritting my teeth here. I go into a chain coffee shop. After France I vowed I never would but it is the only place selling coffee in this small town. I see someone scrunched over their Mac. Cool, I’ve come to the right place. It’s warm, which is a plus. Dark wooden floors, nice. I order a coffee. Make sure to order my latte extra hot and with only one shot of espresso. But extra hot. To fight against the cold coffee movement cafés seem to love. I’m called darling six times which rankles a bit, but he’s probably trying to be nice.

I sit down with my cup of coffee. There’s a big buzz. But something doesn’t feel right. The cup is not burning me. This can only mean one thing. The coffee is not scalding. Not anywhere near. I take the first, fatal sip. My stomach, falls, turns, and feels grossed out. It’s warm. As if it has been left out for fifteen minutes. The coffee is horrible. I feel nauseous after drinking it pretty much in one go because my stomach is clenching with frustration at this pathetic excuse for a hot drink and I wanted to forget the whole thing.

Perhaps I should have complained. BUT I ASKED FOR A CUP OF COFFEE AND CAREFULLY STIPULATED THAT IT WAS TO BE EXTRA HOT. Instead I feel angry, stressed and not in the best frame of mind to write, which is a shame because I had a gorgeous lunch the other day. Anyway, please feel free to share your coffee experiences and let me know what you think of the café situation wherever you live.

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